#MarriageChronicles 07: Married To Younger Men
Hellurr….it’s almost weekend!! I have butterflies in my tummy not because I’m getting married this weekend but because I just realized how much I love writing. I was reading my articles published on Huffington Post here and here and I couldn’t help but smile and appreciate God for the gifts He has blessed me with. I honestly don’t deserve any of them. But He thinks I do and that’s why He’s my number 1 boyfriend! Music for the day is Dr Vernon’s we’re amazed. Have fun while listening.
So I was at a women’s gathering last weekend and I learnt a lot of things. While I noticed the increasing number of older ladies who are either single, widowed or divorced, I got really interested in a different class of women. Before I get to that, I just want to appreciate the older jewels in the society who are walking and working out their purpose and not sitting around waiting for a man. I don’t imagine it’s a walk in the park but whatever choices have led them here, I have immense respect for them. And I know for a fact that God’s working out something incredibly beautiful for them. I’m sure of that.
Now the ladies that got my ears standing are those who married younger men. You see, there and then, I realized that women are capable of anything! Men too yea, but women have the spot today. The mind is such a strong force! If you put your hand to the plough and not look back, it’s amazing what the mind can push out, God helping. I listened to women tell of the challenges and compromises made dating or getting married to a younger man. Most of them older by maybe 3-5 years.
I admire and respect these women, especially as our culture doesn’t give such choices a soft landing. While I don’t know if I have the strength to try this, I just loved the lessons they shared and had to share.
– You have to be convinced you can handle it– If your mind can’t fathom the fact that you’re older, don’t be pressured to get into it. It’s not for everyone.
– Don’t ever bring the age thing up– In fact, remember to forget that fact. Until you don’t even remember at all. When he says sit, sit your fine ass down. Age is only a number and the reality is that you’re his wife!
– Submit all of you– That’s not my command, it’s in the good old bible. Older or younger it don’t matter. Submit your beautiful 5-years-older-self to the authority of your husband. Don’t feel proud or insulted at any point, just submit and trust your husband to love you right.
– Tell no one– It came up a few times among the younger women sitted. They asked how the parents will handle it and I thought to myself, how is it their business? If you don’t tell them, how would they know? No disrespect to the parents but they don’t need to know everything. How will you feel the judgmental stares from some friends if you don’t mention it at all? My point is, it’s between you and your husband. When you start telling people, you start giving room for unnecessary insults or gossips. And it may mean that you now have a problem with the age thing and need to feed off the approval of others. You don’t. Except you’re sharing that bit of your relationship because you want to encourage or teach someone a thing or two, my advice is, keep it to yourself.
– Pray for grace– Oh dear Lord. You cannot get used to this. If you don’t pray, I don’t know what will become of you two. You have to continually guard your mind from terrible thoughts from evil people. So you don’t start getting suspicious of his every move with younger girls, pray for grace. You can’t do this on your own. You honestly can’t.
I hope you learnt a thing or two from this post. What are your thoughts on being married to a younger man. Any tips you want to share? Drop a comment below! You know how I love to read from you.
*hugs and kisses*
Live. Love. Laugh. Look. Better.
Illustration: Peniel Enchill